Some time ago in Every Child, Linda Newman addressed the media response to an episode of Play School on ABC television which depicted a child with two mums. She asked the question: 'Who is the boss of normal?'

That question resonated with me as I was thinking about children who seem to 'march to a different drum' and why some educators find that challenging. I was reminded of a conversation with a friend who told me she would always be grateful to the early childhood educator who reassured her that her little boy, who always seemed different from other children, was marching to his own drum and that was a sign of his uniqueness and individuality.

This child grew up to be a gifted composer and musician, talents which were not obvious as a small child. In his childhood years, his parents were told he was 'inattentive', 'not very social with other children' or 'in a world of his own.' Fortunately, one educator had the wisdom and skills to go beyond these behaviours to see something she couldn't name, but that she understood were positive aspects of his way of being.

Why are we challenged?

There can be many reasons for being challenged by children with these different behaviours, including:

• a need to feel that we have a 'grasp' on every child in the group. We may like to identify children's development into neat categories, or we may find conformity comforting and, therefore, these children challenge our notions of what 'normal' means.
• we may be concerned about relationships with these children, as they may seem less interested in being close to others, especially other children.

Educators have an ethical duty of care to find ways to respect these children and to confront their own bias or negativity associated with children who act differently.

Questions to support this reflection might include:

• Why do I respond with concern about this child's different way of being? What part of my values or beliefs does this behaviour confront or challenge? What would help me to change my values?
• Are there different ways to understand this child's behaviour if my existing observation practices are not able to provide positive and deep insights?
• Does the program have a balance across different ways of making meaning, or are some ways (such as the expressive arts, science, technology and kinaesthetic approaches) less privileged?

Ethical early childhood pedagogies

Ethical early childhood pedagogies respect and are inclusive of all children's ways of being in the world and do not seek to categorise, normalise or patronise when children march to different drums.

Ethical pedagogies could include:

• using many different ways to document and assess children's learning, development and ways of being, in order to make visible every child's uniqueness and the ways that they understand the world and express their identities
• providing a wide range of experiences that allow every child to use their preferred learning style and ways of making meaning
• facilitating choices in the program which support children's right to have some input into matters that are important to them (The convention on the rights of the child, 1989)
• working together with families and community members to share wisdom, understanding and experiences that can help us to plan more inclusively
• challenging children or colleagues when they show bias or discrimination by asking serious questions: 'Why do you say that?', 'How might that comment make the child feel'?

'Who is the boss of normal?' is a good question to keep in mind when working with diverse groups of children and families with different ways of being. Differences bring richness and strength to families, services, communities and countries. Finding ways to embrace and celebrate differences is ethically complex but essential work.

Anne Kennedy
Education Consultant

Reference

United Nations (1989). The convention on the rights of the child. New York: UNICEF.

Every Child magazine – vol. 15 no. 2, 2009, p. 8

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