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Self-esteem is generally considered to mean accepting and being happy with who you are, your strengths and your challenges. It involves a sense of belonging—knowing where you fit in the world—and the ability to manage things that are important to you.
In some families and groups, where the sense of belonging to a community is considered more important than individual worth, personal self-esteem is not highly valued. However, most communities believe that people need some level of self-esteem, or belief in themselves and their abilities, to be able to contribute effectively to their community, as well as to their own lives and families.
Risks of low self-esteem
Low self-esteem has been shown to be related to certain harmful personal health behaviours, particularly:
- teenage pregnancy
- eating disorders
- depression
- being bullied
- youth unemployment (Emler, 2002).
It is important to remember that an association is not necessarily a cause. For example, low self-esteem would make it difficult for a young person to confidently present him or herself and get a job. On the other hand, being unemployed could also be a contributor to low self-esteem. Low self-esteem does not appear to contribute to social problems such as racism, crime and alcohol abuse.
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Creating a secure base
The California Task Force to Promote Self-Esteem and Personal and Social Responsibility found that families have a strong influence on self-esteem, and the early years are especially important in creating a strong foundation for self-esteem. They also found that school climate and achievement at school play important roles, and that high self-esteem leads to less teenage pregnancy and personally harmful behaviours.
Along with other researchers, the task force noted that strategies for building self-esteem need to be related to real activities, attributes and achievements rather than centring on self-esteem as the goal—praise and encouragement needs to be meaningful to be effective.
They conclude that:
'Writers and researchers show general although by no means complete agreement on the preconditions necessary for someone to demonstrate high self-esteem. Among the commonly used terms are: security, connectedness, uniqueness, assertiveness, competence and spirituality.'
All of these attributes come initially from a child's home but can also be encouraged by carers in the different settings of child care, preschool, school etc.
Security and connectedness come from knowing that there is someone who is a 'safe base'; someone who can be relied on for warmth, support, comfort and help. It is important for very young children, who don't understand concepts such as time and separation, for there to be one or more people they know they can depend on to be there for them.
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Conclusion
In a recent talkback radio program, the presenter questioned whether self-esteem and valuing children was over-rated. Every talkback caller had a story of how they had not felt valued at school and how devastating it had been for them.
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So, while researchers continue to explore just how self-esteem works, helping children to value themselves is one of the most important things parents, carers and educators can do. Most importantly, we need to remember that young children develop a sense of their value through our opinions and behaviour towards them.
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Pam Linke
Strategic Manager, Centre for Parenting
Children, Youth and Women's Health Service, South Australia
References and further reading
California Task Force to Promote Self-Esteem and Personal and Social Responsibility (1990). Toward a state of self-esteem. Sacramento, CA: California State Department of Education.
Emler, N. (2002). Self-esteem: The costs and causes of low self-worth. Youth Studies Australia, 3(21), 45–48.
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