Should we award children stars on a chart when they do as we tell them ...
... or send them to their room when they disobey?

Parent and child psychologist, Dr Louise Porter, thinks not!

In Children are people too: A parent's guide to young children's behaviour, Dr Porter explains that although these parenting methods seem to be common sense, they can actually cause more problems, resulting in an escalation of behavioural difficulties.

Instead, Dr Porter recommends a guidance approach to raising children based on teaching them to act considerately, rather than punishing them when they fail to do so.

Mistakes are inevitable when learning any new skill, be it spelling or learning to act thoughtfully. To punish either sort of mistake would be to punish children for being children.

By acknowledging children's positive actions and teaching them when their behaviour interferes with others, a guidance approach aims to safeguard children's self-esteem and to honour their need to be in command of themselves.

It also enriches our relationships with our children, sustaining a closeness that endures into their adult lives.